Feeling angry is a natural part of life, but excessive anger can be harmful to the well-being of ourselves and those around us. This article will teach you how to ease your anger in the heat of the moment.
1 Step away from the situation. If possible, leave the room or office you are in and step outside to get some fresh air or go for a short walk. If you are with other people, let them know that you will need a moment to gather yourself. This will give you an opportunity to compose yourself, and will help you avoid saying things that you will later regret.
2 Take deep, slow breaths to relax. If it helps, repeat a word or mantra to yourself either in your head or out loud. Try words like “relax,” “it’s ok,” “don’t worry,” and so on. This will help bring your heart rate and blood pressure back to a normal level.
3 Consider the big picture. Sometimes we get very angry over trivial matters that have little significance in the long run. Looking at the big picture will help you put the incident into perspective, and might even make you realize that what happened isn’t really as big a deal as you originally thought.
4 Don’t bottle up your anger. If somebody does or says something that makes you angry, then tell them. Suppressing negative emotions will only cause them to come back and haunt you later in life. Plus, failing to let the person know might cause them to repeat the same behavior in the future.
Wait until you have calmed down before expressing your anger to somebody else. Yelling or screaming will only heighten the tension you are already feeling, and won’t resolve anything.
If you are not ready to talk to the person you are angry with, then confide in a friend or loved one.
If the matter is too private, then write about it in a journal.
5 Think about why you are angry. Take some time to seriously consider this question. Knowing exactly why you are angry will help you avoid placing false blame on a person or event.
Sometimes one event triggers the memory of a past event. Try to identify whether you are truly upset about what has just happened, or if you are holding on to residual anger from the past.
6 Try to make yourself laugh. While this may be difficult, learning to find humor in difficult situations will make life a great deal more pleasant and tolerable. Allow yourself to appreciate the humor or irony in the situation.
7 Remember that anger is a natural emotion. While anger can feel overwhelming in the heat of the moment, remember that every human being on earth experiences it from time to time. Accept that things can’t always go to go your way.
Don’t suppress your anger. This will only cause it to come up later in life. Rather, devote time to sorting through it in a rational way.
Make sure all of your anger is out before you go to a different person so you don’t get angry at that person.
If you do end up bottling it up, be prepared to blame it on people and then have them be mad at you. Don’t expect to yell at people and then have them be perfectly fine with it.
Remember to keep your voice normal and don’t begin to shout. Your anger will only come back.
If your chronic anger has caused you to emotionally and/or physically hurt others, you should seek professional help.
Don’t walk away. Stay where you are until your problem has been resolved.